I’m here to prove that Purple® Mattress blows memory foam out of the bedroom. Only Purple passes the Durability Test, Body Heat Test, and the all-new H.E.D. Test – or, “Human Egg Drop Test,” for the layman. The best test to determine a mattress’ comfort and support. Ready, Billy? Billy: No…I just have to — Jake: Perfect. (Billy screams) Just look at how the Purple® Smart Comfort Grid™, made from a super-comfy, yet ultra-supportive material called Hyper-Elastic Polymer® cradled those unfertilized chickies. And, yeah, they’re pretty real. Now, how about that memory foam? Take ‘er up! (Jr. Sasquatch growls) Ready, Billy? Billy: Uuuhhhhhhh… Jake: Great. (Billy groans) See, unlike memory foam, Purple’s unique design cradles your pressure points and redistributes support to the rest of your body, leaving your spine properly aligned. So no more back pain, no matter your body type, sleeping position, or frequency of nightmare. Man: OH JEE– (especially the ones starring your boss) So what does this mean? Billy: That Purple’s comfortable? Jake: Good boy, Billy. Boss: Jake, that was terrible form. More wrist. Jake: O-Oh! Billy, can you clean this up please? Billy: Yeah… Did you know memory foam was developed in 1966? That’s 10 years older than VHS.
And, what’s crazier is the “technology” hasn’t even changed. You’re getting half-century-old technology with all of its problems. So many companies are desperate to call their mattresses high-tech, so they sandwich a little bit of tech into the memory foam. (maniacal laugh) 98% memory foam is still 98% crap. That’s a lot of crap you’re sleeping on, brother… and sisters… …you guys. Purple is the most durable comfort technology in scientific history. While the compact structure of memory foam breaks down and falls apart over time, Purple’s proprietary material keeps shape and stays strong. No more lumpy mattresses, and no more body impressions. Speaking of impressions, memory foam has a big problem. It sleeps hot. And, when exposed to body heat, it softens and loses support, causing you to sink faster than my hopes and dreams at senior prom… or Blockbuster Video. Those guys… I feel bad, but they made some mistakes in their hierarchy, and they just… Deep sleep requires low stimuli. Purple is temperature-neutral. It’s grid design and aerated sidewalls create serious airflow so your body heat doesn’t affect your sleep.
Stop looking for sleep in all the wrong places. Forget memory foam! These tests are real! You really can sleep cooler and more comfortably, all on a mattress that will outlive the family dog. And, you can personalize your Purple with our many different comfort levels. Purple perfected the science of sound sleep. All you need to do is experience it. And, you can for 100 nights with Purple’s No Pressure Guarantee. So, go ahead try the world’s best mattress. Billy: Hey, Jake? Jake: Purple. Billy: Purple! Jake: He’s fine, he does this a lot. This is his thing. Oh..they just kind of don’t talk and just…don’t touch either. We gave them a the don’t talk, don’t touch rule. Purple. Billy: Purple! . bamboo sheets